"Politics wedded to hypocrisy"

By Sam Fulwood III, Plain Dealer Columnist
Thursday, June 08, 2006

"God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve"
~punch line to an anti-gay joke

Dear President Bush:

I was outraged to hear your speech earlier this week endorsing a constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of a man and woman.
I write you because I suspect you don't know many men like me, who are secure enough in their masculinity to say they love other men.

Hold on, sir, before you toss this note in your executive wastebasket. Let me explain that when I say love, I don't mean the "hooking up" or "having sex" sense of that word.
It's a common notion, but misguided. I'm angered when I hear love defined exclusively in sexual terms. That's an incomplete, limiting and gross way of thinking about something as glorious as love - even when applied to heterosexual relationships.
My understanding of love has nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with caring about other human beings. It applies especially to women, but it's elastic enough to cover men, too.

So let me tell you about two men - Adam and Steve -I love. Forgive me for not using proper names. I know them both well enough to be assured they wouldn't appreciate my sharing these locker-room tales with you.

My friend Adam is heterosexual. He's what you might call a manly man, the sort of best-buddy type who is willing to sit in front of a television, drink beers back to back and watch ball games. We actually did that some years ago in a male-bonding orgy that lasted an entire weekend. (If it makes you feel any better, sir, we were fully dressed the entire time.)
Adam is a complicated friend. He would give me or one of his male buddies the shirt off his back. But he doesn't respect women, including his wife. Truth be told, he's never been a faithful husband. He had a tryst with one of the bridesmaids at his wedding.

I wonder, Mr. President, if Adam is the sort of person you had in mind when you said families "pass along values and shape character" and marriage "is also critical to the health of society."
Or were you speaking about my friend Steve, who is gay? He's been in a committed relationship with his partner for nearly as long as Adam has been unhappily married.
I met Steve years ago as we shared a brief flight and talked about sports, movies and God. We became good friends almost instantly. I've introduced him to my family and friends. He's invited me to worship at his church, where we prayed for tolerance, respect and dignity for all mankind.
Mr. President, you used those words - "tolerance and respect and dignity" - as you summarized your opposition to gay marriage. If I may be completely frank, sir, I think your comments were despicable.
You knew the amendment wasn't going to pass Congress. Still, you lent the dignity of your office to this election-year diversion to appease your conservative political base and to prop up your sagging popularity.

And, sir, that clearly demonstrates it's politics - not people -you love.

P.S. Mr. President, let me also mention that later this year I will celebrate my 22nd anniversary with the same lovely person. In case you are worried, my spouse is a woman.

And by the way, neither Adam's troubled marriage nor Steve's successful partnership poses the slightest threat to my happy, monogamous marriage.