Fun with the HumanityCritic

I love this guy. He has been blogging for much longer than I even knew what a blog was.

I read this today and it made me chuckle (as most of his posts do). This particular post is called "Fun with Racism". If you're going to read it, be warned - you're going to need a good 10 minutes - brevity is not his strong suit.

**CAUTION**
HumanityCritic is not rated PG! He is foul and violent and crass and vulgar and rude...you get where I'm going with this. I know it's tempting since you're on my blog & I like the guy & all, but if you think that you might be offended or put off in any way, just don't go to the site. Please. I will post some original stuff in a day or so that will probably be much more tolerable. If you go & find it upsetting, please accept my "I told you so" in advance.

http://nappydiatribe.blogspot.com/2006/02/fun-with-racism.html

Siskel, Ebert, Roeper and Brown

My Oscar picks:

Best Actor Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain
Best Actress Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Best Supporting Actor Matt Dillon - Crash
Best Supporting Actress Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Best Cinematography Good Night and Good Luck
Best Editing The Constant Gardener
Best Picture I just can't decide!

Now that that important piece of business is out of the way, I can give my reviews of a few movies I've seen recently.

Broken Flowers - Much better story than Lost in Translation, same great acting by Bill Murray, but certainly not a memorable flick.
*Surprise Bonus * - Jeffrey Wright co-stars. (and he's awesome, as usual!)

Transamerica - This was a very entertaining film. Slow to start, but once it did, I was in it for the long haul. I have been cautioned against calling it a comedy, although I did have several LOL moments, not to mention much post-movie chuckling! As mentioned above, F. Huffman out-acted all of the Best Actress nominees by leaps and bounds. As an actress, I cannot begin to imagine playing a pre-operative, transgender man! But she more than pulled it off. (And the kid that played her son was a little hottie, as a surprise bonus.)

Something New - Exceeded my expectations, for sure. This was a solid movie and quite a refreshing love story. We could go on and on about how much Kenya (the main character, played by Sanaa Lathan) and I have in common. But we all know that flexibility and spontaneity are not my strong suits. And we all know that (most of) my life is ruled by lists. So feel free to make the comparison in your own time, I'm going to review the movie in mine.

Going into the picture, I expected great performances from Sanaa Lathan and Alfre Woodard - they are both very classy ladies, and they never dissapoint (even when they're in mediocre movies). I had no idea what to expect from the other characters, though. Well, I guess if I'm honest, I should rephrase that...I was bracing myself for some Hollywood style, steryotypical, foolishness.

What a pleasant surprise. Kenya's parents were very accurately portrayed as a loving, down-to-earth, slightly henpecked husband and a wife, to whom status & affiliation means everything. Together they raised 2 very well educated and successful children and they are rightfully proud. Kenya's brother was a young law school graduate with a sparkly new convertible luxury car and a sparkly new date each time we saw him. Kenya's friends were the friends you expect her to have - professional young women who are honest with each other and themselves about their dating prospects.

I don't want to give away too much more about the characters and their storyline. I will say that I identified with this movie in a way that I haven't since The Best Man and Love Jones. I look forward to the day when ordinary black people's lives, their loves & losses, their collective experiences, frustrations and dreams, become a part of mainstream America. I look forward to the day when quality movies about ordinary black people do not come as a surprise to me. I look forward to the day when there are so many mainstream television shows, plays and movies featuring ordinary black people, that the Medea/Tyler Perrys, the Soul Planes and the Baby Boys become the anomaly. I hope it happens during my lifetime.

Older & less dumb

Ok, so I think at this point we are all aware that I had a birthday this week. And most of us know that I am all about introspection and self-improvement year round, but particularly during the birthday week (or month, depending on my mood).

So for 32, first of all I'm thinking, way better than 31. Please! Not that 31 was so bad. But it was definately not my best year. I fell off financially and that's pretty upsetting considering how hard I worked for years to get that part of my house in order. But I'm back on track there and vowing to re-prioritize and stay focused. (Wish me luck.)

Thank goodness for having lived a rich and full (and sometimes dangerous and reckless) life. I am very glad that I have had this year of absolute single-ness. How else can you get really sure about what you want in a partnership, right? Spending time dealing with and throwing out the baggage and really being honest with myself about my faults & the BS I bring into a relationship - my role in the recent failures. It's refreshing to know myself (the good, the bad and the downright annoying) and to know who I can tolerate in my personal space. Not to mention, who will ENHANCE my life instead of drain my energy & spirit. So, since that is all taken care of, like most well educated, independant, childless and confident Black women, I wait. I keep myself busy while I wait, but I wait. I wait with hope that the Black man that fits the bill is out there somewhere preparing himself for me. I wait with the hope that I will not become impatient during all this damn waiting!

So today I was telling somebody about my 1st (and only) date
with the guy from yesterday's post (re: "I'm just not that into you"). Remember when you met somebody and you overlooked the obvious incompatibility because they were nice? or because you didn't know what you wanted out of a date/relationship? or because you thought you could change them? or because your dating cheerleaders begged you to "give him a chance"? To hell with that!
It either is or it ain't. And trusting your instincts is so important. The first phone conversation was great. It seemed like we could talk for hours. (Actually, we did.) Then the date....

-1 point he's way too old for me
-1 point he's got a child in college & one about to be in college
+1 point he knew about Mark Anthony Neal (translation: he reads)
+1 point he suggested we meet a few blocks from my house
-1 point he suggested we meet at a grimy sports bar
+1 point he scheduled the date during a playoff game
-1 point he watched the playoff game during the date
-1 point his obsession with sports ended his marriage
-1 point he goes on regular county-wide searches for the best hamburger
+1 point he came to see my performance
-2 points he is homophobic

I could go on and on, but I think you can see where this is going, points-wise. A younger and more dumb gal would have siezed the fact that this guy is, indeed a great catch. She would have ignored the watching of the game and the marriage ending obsession. She would have taken his statement "I would love to get married again and have more kids" at face value instead of realizing that the statement was preceded by "You are so much older than me & that makes me uncomfortable". She would have heeded the advice of several well-meaning folks and "given him a chance". Thank God that "she" is not me (anymore).

Surely there will be more posts that related to my being older and less dumb. But for now, I will just hope that 32 proves to be my best age so far.

Closure...the good...the bad...and the uncomfortable

So, I've never been good at closure. The whole "I'm just not that into you" conversation is really one I've not had. Who wants to say that to somebody? It's so much easier to just never return their phone calls and hope you never see them again. Right??

But karma is a bitch. And it hasn't ever happened to me, but who knows how I would feel if it did. Now that I'm in the dating arena (allegedly) I have to think about stuff like that. Not to mention, I would feel like a real ass hole if I saw said dude in public and he was doggin'!
So I did it. Not in a very timely fashion (technically, I'm about 2 weeks late) but I did it. And fortunately he is "a big boy" and could handle it gracefully.

"The Committee" tells me that now it will be easier to do the next time. Boy I hope that there is only one next time! The next dude that comes my way had better be the freaking "one" because this dating thing is no picnic - I don't want to keep this up. And at that point I will have to say goodbye to my ever so delicious booty call a.k.a. pretend boyfriend. That's a whole 'nother blog for a whole 'nother day...

For now, the "just-don't-ever-answer-the-phone-and-he'll-get-the-picture" method is OUT and the closure method is IN.

For now...